Does dancing Patrick Stewart ad spill future Trek secrets?

What? Of course, it doesn’t! But it is a lot of fun to watch since it features Patrick Stewart, our own Captain Jean-Luc Picard, not only narrating but also dancing “like a metaphor.”

This ad, titled “Sweet Victory,” is slotted to air Sunday, February 7, during CBS’ coverage of the big game. (No, not the Starbase 74 parries squares semifinal.)

The spot caps what AdAge calls “an epic six-part campaign” promoting CBS All Access’ rechristening as Paramount+ on March 4.

The Name is Changing—The Star Trek Is Staying

It’s absolutely no secret the relaunched subscription service will be a one-stop-shop for nearly all Trek from the last 55 years. (The Kelvin timeline films may even beam in.)

That’s the reason the venerable Sir Patrick isn’t the only Trek luminary who’s come to life on “Mount Paramount.”

Sonequa Martin-Green (Star Trek: Discovery’s Michael Burnham) is there, as are Ethan Peck and Anson Mount (Spock and Captain Pike, respectively, in Discovery’s second season, set to reprise their roles in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds).

Together, they’ve shown up in four of the campaign’s previous installments, too, along with a galaxy of other iconic figures from Paramount productions past and present:

I believe only Spock is barely visible in the fifth—you be the judge:

In any event, “Sweet Victory” reveals Patrick Stewart as the one who’s summoned them all to the summit.

Pretend Patrick Stewart Played Picard Atop Mount Paramount…

Patrick Stewart is indeed “a very handsome man in a tuxedo.” But does he rock the black-tie look as well as Julian Bashir did playing a secret agent in the Deep Space Nine holosuites?

Admit it: Around here, we’d all rather have seen Patrick in character as Picard. Then the fan theories would really have started to fly!

Imagine the fun we could have had debating:

• Is Mount Paramount somewhere in the Nexus?
• Will Stephen Colbert be the next host of Ten Forward?
• Will Jeff Probst play a Klingon Torchbearer in Discovery’s fourth season?

Oh, well. We can always pretend we’re watching Picard dance for the first time since his momentary mambo in Star Trek: Insurrection.

What far-fetched fan theories could you spin from “Sweet Victory?” Share your best in the comments!