On this edition of Flashback Friday, we’re reviewing Star Trek’s original series and the season one episode, What Are Little Girls Made Of?
This week’s original episode of Star Trek the series is What Are Little Girls Made Of? Captain Kirk and probably the only woman in the universe he doesn’t try to neck with, Enterprise nurse Christine Chapel beam down to the surface of Exo III to look for renowned Dr. Rogere Korby, the “Pasteur of archaeological medicine.” He’s been on Exo III for the last five years out of contact from everyone, even his fiance nurse Chapel.
Hell of a way to avoid a breakup.
Two Redshirts arrive as well, but they’re quickly dispatched by Lurch from the Addams Family.
Kirk and Chapel meet Dr. Brown who leads them to a room where we meet Andrea and the probably-not-so-good-Dr. Korby. After failing to contact the Redshirts, Dr. Brown pulls a gun on Kirk. Whoa man, that was heavy.
Kirk uses an innocent woman as a shield right before he shoots Dr. Brown. Wouldn’t ya know it, the old doctor was an android. Dr. Korby demands Kirk to fall in line. Lurch is having none of this and chucks Kirk like a hacky sack. We then see Andrea again and she reveals she’s an android too. Shocker. I’m shocked. Shocked! Well, not really. Not even a little.
Chapel flat out asks Dr. Korby if he’s used Andrea as an adult-play thing. Korby says “no” but we all heard “yes”. Korby attempts to show his fiancee and Kirk how he creates androids and it looks a lot like a hacky carnival ride. So you know, any carnival ride.
Korby admits he fears being judged. Because, you know, he doinked a robot for five years. Kirk now has an android counterpart, resulting in two Kirks. George Takei’s worst nightmare. Kirk somehow manages to make the android racist. So that’s new.
Kirk then gets into an argument with his own android self. Shatner arguing with himself. Had to happen eventually. Shockingly, Korby starts talking about putting a human “soul” into a robot. If only they knew that 60 years later, that would literally happen to Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: Picard, and it would be just as dumb.
Kirk is able to escape the worst meal since the My Dinner With Andre and goes toe to toe with Lurch. Android Kirk goes to the Enterprise and gets super racisty with Spock, causing the Vulcan to send down a landing party like a scene from Goodfellas. Shortly after, Kirk seduces android Andrea and kisses her so hard that he breaks her brain. She then reveals that she’s not “programmed” for Kirk. Yup, she and Korby did the hippity dippity.
Kirk convinces Lurch that Korby is super evil and so Lurch tries to kill him, only to get vaporized. A struggle between Korby and Kirk reveals that Korby is a no-good-dirty android. Andrea gets sent to deal with Spock but runs into Android Kirk. She says she wants to mack with Android-Kirk, thinking he’s the real one. He rebuffs her and she shoots him. Hell hath no fury like an android scorn.
Andrea randomly tries to make out with Korby, after realizing she killed an android, to which Korby shoots them both with her phaser, killing them both. On the ship, Spock chides Kirk for making the android a racist.
I guess that was supposed to be a joke?
Let’s go to the scores.
Acting: Lurch/Ruck (Ted Cassidy) was super impressive considering his most famous role was as a near-mute monster.
Grade: 5/5
Writing: Korby’s motivations get a bit “eh” near the end. It’s no “What is brain?” but it’s not great.
Grade: 2/5
Design: Lurch looked legitimately terrifying, and you gotta love ’60s era design.
Grade: 4/5
Special Effects: Unimpressed with the android parts that popped out.
Grade: 3/5
Enjoyability: A sexbot and Lurch. That would’ve been a Star Trek episode worth watching.
Grade: 3/5
Overall: 17/25 (68%)
Worth your time but the episode goes full camp a lot. Kirk breaks a robot by kissing it. That’s all you need to know.