Welcome back to this final entry of Captain Kirk's most epic fights from Star Trek: The Original Series. Our legendary captain had plenty on his plate in season 3, from energy beings that fed on violence to a beautiful but rather feral visitor from Elas, who caused trouble wherever she went! Some of Kirk's fans would like to say he's a lover not a fighter, but these fisticuffs from the third season of TOS show everyone that he's actually a bit of both! Plus, Kirk actually had to square off against himself — sort of.
1. Kirk vs. the dohlman of Elas ("Elaan of Troyius")
While on a top-secret mission to deliver the impetuous and arrogant ruler Elaan of Elas, Kirk finds himself in a different type of battle with this particular opponent. He discovers from the start that Elan is not above stabbing people who annoy her and turning everyday objects into airborne missiles when she's displeased, which is most of the time.
After Elaan gets "stabby" with Petri, the Troyian ambassador sent to teach her the manners of his people, it's up to Kirk to take his place. He watches Elaan eat like the pig she claims her future husband is and starts to read her like she's a contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race. They trade slaps, and she hurls a knife at Kirk as he's leaving. I love the cool head turn Kirk gives her after the knife misses him by about two inches.
By the end of the episode, Spanish Fly tears aside, I do think Elaan truly came to respect and even admire Kirk. Her "remember me" is so poignant, and I have to mention how amazing France Nuyen's performance was as Elaan! This is one of my favorite episodes because of her.
2. Kirk vs. Kang and his Klingon crew ("Day of the Dove")
An energy pinwheel that feeds on violence and aggression finds its way onto the USS Enterprise after drawing it and her crew, along with a Klingon ship. commanded by Captain Kang, with a fake distress call. When it finds its way to the bridge, it hurls the ship through space at warp nine and starts to amp up the negative energy anywhere it can.
The fighting begins in earnest in the crew lounge, where Kirk throws the first punch at Kang. Everyday objects, including the hand phasers, turn into swords, and Kirk then realizes he has no choice but to face Kang and the other Klingons with ancient weaponry. Kirk has so much to deal with in this episode:
The Enterprise's navigator, Mr. Chekov, is LARPing all over the ship because of an imagined dead brother, most of Kirk's crew is trapped behind emergency bulkheads, and then Scotty and Mr. Spock have a contest on the bridge to see who can be the biggest bigot.
Kirk has to stop them both, then face Kang again in engineering! They laugh the pinwheel away in the end, but Kirk's hand-to-hand skills in his swordfight with the Klingon commander are not to be missed. And how great is the Klingon proverb, "4,000 throats may be cut in one night by a running man?"
Captain Kirk vs. Kirk/Lord Garth ("Whom Gods Destroy")
Imagine being trapped in an alien insane asylum with a man who can change his appearance at will, then chooses your own appearance in an attempt to escape the facility. That's exactly Kirk's problem in this episode, when Lord Garth (Garth of Izar, formerly a starship captain) turns himself into Kirk 2.0 to confuse Spock, who's come to resolve this issue for good. I love Spock's "so this is happening, I guess," expression when the door opens to reveal identical Captain Kirks.
After Spock allows himself to get knocked aside so he can watch the two tussle. Garth-as-Kirk doesn't fight much like the real deal, and I don't know why Kirk doesn't show Spock his true colors by launching himself butt-first at his foe (the signature move he showed of in "Journey to Babel"). The fight ends when Kirk tells Spock the safety of the Enterprise is, well, paramount. I know. I'm sorry; I'll see myself out.
Honorable mention: Kirk vs. Flint ("Requiem for Methuselah")
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